Where am I? What state am I in?
From my powers of deduction, I believe I am in Savannah. I have a collection of small fuzzy creatures demanding my attention and using me as a shedding receptacle/jungle gym. There's also an aura of despair and misery, so that's a hint.
Anyway, I'm here to share with you the joys of having prolonged and detailed discussions with me. There are, of course, boatloads more, but they're probably only actually funny to me.
Conversations with me
"You're like... a broccoli-eating squirrel."
"It sounds like Skrillex ate a printer."
"You never told me I had to be sociable!"
"It's a ball!"
"You should get a dog and name him Samuel Pupys."
"Put the dog in the bathroom with the wasp. I will recognize the survivor as my true pet."
(More to be added if my adoring public demands it)