I am the Phone Killer

Thus far, my craptastical phone continues to hang on to the last vestiges of life- probably due to some sort of Droidian voodoo or the Dark Arts.

This all started about a week ago, a couple of days before I was to journey forth across the continent. Lo and behold, my phone stopped charging! Even when I turned it off and left it attached to the charger, the battery would drain halfway! I took it to the Verizon store, which went something like this-

"How can I help you today?"

"Well, my phone won't charge. I keep it on using prayers and crossed fingers. Can you find out what exactly is wrong with it?"

(After some poking at the phone by the store person, including a few tense minutes when we realized neither of us really knew how to free it from it's Otter Box prison) "The charger port seemed broken."

"Okay. That sounds benign enough. Can you fix that?"

"No."

"Oh. Well then. Can I get my phone replaced?"

"Yes."

"Excellent! Can I get my phone tomorrow? The day after I'm leaving to go across the continent."

"No."

"I see."

"Also, you aren't listed on this account, so I have no proof that you didn't steal this phone."

"Great. Thanks for the help."

After fleeing with my phone (which, for the record, I did not steal, but in fact bought with my own dollars after my previous phone also stopped charging.

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.), I decided to take it along for the journey and see what happened.

Thus far, said prayers and crossed fingers have worked miracles. Not only does it occasionally charge, it only turned itself off twice! That means only two times this week that I've had to yell and curse and fiddle with charger cord and resist throwing the phone against the wall.

Raging success, I'd say.